Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hug your Babies

Today is a day to remember the babies that didn't make it and the parents who lost them. I am no stranger to pregnancy loss. I have had four miscarriages, the most recent just a few weeks ago. The pain and loss is terrific. As much as we've been through and as much as it's hurt I cannot even fathom what it is to lose a baby to still birth or prematurity. There are no words.

Last summer I learned how to smock. Soon after I discovered Wee Care and began making gowns to donate to area hospitals, first on my own and now through an interdenominational group of women. The gowns that I make are primarily bereavement gowns. That really really seems to bother people. They think it's macabre and I'm often asked how I can possibly make something like *that*. Or people will insist that living babies sometimes wear those garments. Okay, if that makes you feel better, yes, sometimes living babies wear the things I make. I wish that were true for all the gowns I made. It's not.

So, why do I make them? I make bereavement gowns because when Alice was born I got a quick glimpse of the hell of prematurity and infant loss. Those mothers deserve the absolute best. There is nothing I can do to take all their pain away, but with each stitch on every gown I pray that having something beautiful that fits their child will bring them at least a little bit of peace.

Here is my most recent bereavement gown (almost done). I used a Lays Stax can for size comparison. This gown will fit a baby that is between one and three pounds.

Wee Care gown
Wee Care


  1. i think this is such a wonderful idea. (i found you through mommy wants vodka.)

    people who think it's 'macabre' just don't understand. i know how much it hurt to lose a baby at 7 weeks - 2 days after i found out i was pregnant, i can only guess how painful it gets the further along you are.

  2. I think infant loss is a subject that people just don't like to think about. If it's not acknowledged then it can't possibly be happening, KWIM?

    One of my miscarriages happened right after I got the BFP and, you're right, Stone Fox, it was awful. A loss is a loss no matter how soon it happens. (((hugs))) to you.

  3. You're beautiful, Katy. I love you more than I did before.

    SHIT. Now I'm crying. DON'T TELL ANYONE I CRY, OKAY?

  4. Nah, you're not crying, that's just something in your eye. ; )

  5. A million thank yous for what you do.
    My caden wore one of those gowns during our time in the hospital, and he was buried in another. I have the one he wore in a box next to my bed.
    Because of people like you, my tiny boy (3lbs at term) had clothing to wear as nothing we had was small enough.
    Because of people like you, mothers who have clothing as the last thing on their mind, can have their babies in something pretty, made with love for a baby who won't ever get to be dressed up and played with like their parents dreamed.
    Because of people like you, we got to have photos with our boy in his tiny clothes like any other baby.

    So thankyou. I assure is appreciated.